


My worst enemy is myself

by taekwonmeover



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 04:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6268798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taekwonmeover/pseuds/taekwonmeover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wonshik is fighting a war he can't win.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My worst enemy is myself

**Author's Note:**

> This was really hard for me to write.

The anger was palpable. He couldn't take back what he said before and Wonshik would be fucked before he let the other just walk away.  
"Do you even want to be with me?" He snapped.  
Time and time again it came back to this.  
Wonshik wouldn't leave anything to guesswork. He was open. He told Taekwoon his fears. He told Taekwoon what he needed to feel happy in their relationship. Not in a I expect you to do this all the time kind of way, more like a heads up that sometimes I might need hug if I am screaming to help me calm down. 

But he was beginning to realise something he should have come to terms with a long time ago.  
What he needed and what Taekwoon could give were completely different things.

And that wasn't even a mutual failure. That was on Wonshik. All on Wonshik.  
He kept hoping for a love that would not be shared the way he needed to be happy.  
He was hoping that Taekwoon could change a little bit for him but even that was folly. He expected that by talking about things that things could change for the better. Better for him.  
Because apparently Taekwoon was fulfilled. Taekwoon had less expectations of what their love meant. Taekwoon was happy. It was Wonshik who was dissatisfied. Wonshik felt it keenly if Taekwoon ignored a hug. If Wonshik did that, not that he ever had, Taekwoon wouldn't have cared. He would have let it go, while Wonshik would feel rejected. So when Wonshik explained how he felt, Taekwoon had no point of reference because he himself didn't care.  
Wonshik knew that when it came to empathy, Taekwoon was not a person who understood and actively practiced the concept. 

Yet, as Wonshik smashed his skull against his internalised wall of frustration so hard it felt like the wetness on his cheeks was his brain leaking out instead of tears, why couldn't he stop expecting different from Taekwoon?  
So his heart screamed in silence for what it needed while Taekwoon heard nothing but Wonshik's shaky voice trying to muddle through his tears and explain that he needed something, just a touch or a kiss or something tangible, anything that would stave off the feeling that Wonshik loved Taekwoon more than Taekwoon loved him. 

So while these thoughts and doubts circled in Wonshik's head, tears running down his face, Taekwoon stayed distant, impassive while his words reiterated comforts that felt hollow to a dying heart. So he faced it. He had to stop waiting for Taekwoon to become everything he needed.

There was no huge moment. 

There was no big argument or breach of trust.

No dealbreaker that made it happen. 

It was one small disagreement from a line of others that opened Wonshik's eyes as Taekwoon must have thought (or who knew? How well did he really know this person he promised a forever with when Taekwoon looked at him so blankly?) things would be ok like always?

And in the middle of Taekwoon's soft voice saying "I love you" the way he always did since confessing three years ago, Wonshik walked away.


End file.
